Sookehverse: 15 on a Double
by Miral
Summary: Talk about old dogs and new tricks. What could a 28-year-old telepathic barmaid possibly teach a 1,000 year old Viking Vampire? In a word? STRATEGY. For the Sookie Teaches Eric Something New  Weekly One-Shot Challenge.


**Weekly One Shot Challenge:**

**Sookie teaches Eric something he didn't know before.**

**Disclaimer: Eric and Sookie belong to Charlaine Harris.**

**NOTE: This Sookehverse is the same as 'Niall and Bill's Adventure,' 'Tissues,' 'The Dead Couple,' and 'Oh No! Vampire Bill!'**

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"Eric." The tone with which she said his name was a clear indication that Sookie Stackhouse was feeling particularly frustrated with her 1,000-year-old beau.

"Yes, my lover?"

"I don't believe you."

"Lover, you know I have never lied to you. And I don't lie to you."

Sookie, looking at her boyfriend, frowned.

"Yeah..." She replied tentatively. "I know. But, still, Eric, you can't possibly think me crazy for finding it curious..."

"Sookie, if it were anyone other than me that you were having this conversation with, would you find it so unbelievable?"

Sookie had to admit that he kind of had her there.

Certainly if she were having this conversation with her brother Jason she wouldn't doubt it for a second. If it were Amelia or Tara or JB or even Bill, she'd believe them.

_Hm_, she thought, _maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt_.

"Okay, fine," she nodded her head. Jumping up from where she and Eric were sprawled on the floor of her living room, she ran over to the bookcase. Grabbing what she needed, she plopped herself back down on the floor and flipped open the book.

The sight of his girlfriend bouncing and leaping around the living room, meanwhile, quite captivated Eric.

"Hm, I very much enjoyed that, lover," Eric purred. "Could you do it again?"

"What?" She asked absently as she rifled through the pages of the book.

Eric caressed her back as they lie next to one another in front of the fireplace.

"Okay, Eric. Found it!" She laid the open book out on the floor and pushed it towards him. "See?"

Eric looked down at the page. Sure enough, there it was.

**S U P E R C I L I O U S**: coolly and patronizingly haughty

"So that's 15 points on a Double Word score. Total of 30 points, Eric." She peered over his shoulder to look at the score sheet. "Don't even think of trying to cheat."

"Wouldn't dream of it lover."

"Uh-huh, I bet. I still can't believe you didn't know that word," she shook her head, puzzled. "Anyway, you ready to go?"

"Yes, lover."

Eric glanced back and forth several times between the board and his letters. Finally he came to a decision.

Earlier the word **B A G** had been placed. Eric now took the opportunity to add to this word by placing several letters to the front of the word.

**D O U C H E **

Sookie groaned.

"No, Eric," she shook her head. "That's not a word."

"Lover, how can you say that? You have one living next door," he smirked.

Sookie rolled her eyes.

"Cute, Eric. Very cute. Anyway, I know it's a common enough _term_," she emphasized the word. "But it's actually spelled as two separate words, not one. It's _douche_ and _bag_. Two words. Not _douchebag_ all one word."

"But it makes sense as one word, Sookie. You could call Bill a douche but really he is a douchebag. See? The words must go together to make sense."

"Well, bag is a word without douche," Sookie reasoned. "And douche is a word without bag."

"You are not going to give me that word?"

"It's not a word, Eric. You agreed that if I was going to teach you how to play Scrabble, we'd keep to the rules."

"May I choose our next," he paused, leering at her, "_game_?"

Sookie looked at Eric. She had to hand it to him. She was bemused, impressed, and a little turned on.

_How does he manage to make the word 'game' sound like the dirtiest word in the world?_ she wondered.

She figured whatever game he chose, it would probably be clothing optional. Or maybe just clothing not allowed.

"I suppose," she finally responded.

"Fine. I will continue to play this game but I think you have an unfair advantage."

"_Me_?" Her eyes widened in shock. "Eric, you're the one who's _a 1,000 years old_. You're like older than…_dirt_! Heck, you practically _invented_ language!"

Eric looked slightly taken aback at her outburst.

"Lover, I do not insult _your_ age."

"Eric, I'm not insulting your age!" Sookie looked at him, slightly defensive. "I'm just pointing out the fact that you're _old_—"

"Yes, lover," Eric nodded. "I heard you the first time. I believe the term you used was 'older than dirt."

Sookie giggled.

"Well, you are! You gonna deny it?"

"Very funny, Sookie. The point that I was trying to make was that your familiarity with current American English would be more extensive than my own. With your calendars and books," Eric gestured to her bookcase. "This game is entirely skewed to you winning."

"Eric, that is just not true. Now put something down. Please," she smiled at him. She thought it was cute how put out he seemed by the fact that he wasn't winning.

_Go figure_, Sookie thought. _The Viking isn't used to losing at board games_.

Eric turned his attention back to his letters. Sookie waited. Finally he made a decision and laid down a word.

**O U C H**

Sookie sighed before glancing up at Eric.

"Eric, is that really the best you can do?"

Raising his eyes from the board, Eric returned his gaze to Sookie.

"What do you mean, Dear One?" His voice actually seemed a bit wary.

_Talk about OUCH. Geez, he really sounds sad. It's like I kicked his puppy and took away the keys to the Corvette. _Sookie sighed.

Maybe he really was upset at not winning? Maybe it wasn't an act?

"What I mean is that word is only 9 points. I just scored one with 30. There are several Double Word and even Triple Word openings. I'm sure you must have better letters for something else."

Eric raised a brow at her words.

"Do you want to take over my pieces and play my turn too?"

_Uh-oh, now I've pissed him off. _

"No, honey, you put down your **OUCH**," she smiled, attempting to placate him. "It's okay. I'll be quiet."

His letters placed, Eric selected new letters from the velvet pouch.

"Gone, lover."

"Hm," she looked up at him. "What?"

"The letters." He held the bag upside down to demonstrate the fact that there were no more letters.

Sookie nodded and turned her attention back to the board. Since they were nearing the end of the game, she was looking for openings that might help her get rid of some letters. She had a Y. Ys were annoying if you got stuck with one because then you'd have to deduct 4 points from your score. Although, she nearly laughed aloud, she had so seriously trounced Eric at this game, she needn't worry about having to subtract 4 points. She had already used the Z but she figured she'd still win even if she were stuck with the Z.

"Ooh," spying a good spot for her Y, Sookie nearly bubbled over with excitement.

Eric, lying on the blanket, continued to enjoy the "Sookie Plays Scrabble Show".

She positioned her Y at the end of an earlier word she had placed, **LOFT**.

**L O F T Y **

"Not bad, huh?" Sookie smiled triumphantly. "The Y is on a triple letter so that's 12. The other letters are 7. Total of 19."

Eric peered down at the board, a slight grimace on this face.

"Lofty? What does this mean?"

Sookie's head shot up and she stared at him.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not. It is a word?"

Sookie rubbed her temple. Somehow, at 1,000 years old, he didn't know 'high-handed' or 'supercilious' or 'lofty.'

_Incredible, _she thought. _A photo of him could stand in as the dictionary definition for each of those words, yet he doesn't know them! It's like some twisted joke of the universe_.

"Yes, lofty is a word. It has a couple of meanings. It can mean 'high' or 'high-minded.'"

"Use in a sentence."

"All right," Sookie paused, thinking. "How about this, 'The bird flew down from his lofty perch.'"

"So it is only for birds?"

"Nope. Anything that's high up."

"I fly so I can be high up."

Where was he going with this?

"Yes…Do you want to try using it in a sentence?"

Eric nodded. Thoughtfully, he surveyed the room while he pondered his sentence. Finally he had something.

"I stared at the douche bag from my lofty position flying above his claptrap hovel."

Sookie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"What? Is this not an appropriate sentence?"

"No, it works okay," she fixed her gaze on him. "It's fine."

"There are other meanings for the word?"

_Yeah, right_, she thought. _Like you really don't know them_.

"What are they?"

"It also means to be arrogant or having a feeling of superiority or being scornful of something you regard as beneath you."

She closed her eyes again and braced herself.

"Ah," Eric nodded. "So if I am flying over Compton's home, then that would be…ah…the lofty center of the universe, would it not?"

Sookie opened her eyes and gave Eric a look.

"You know? I find it _really_ hard to believe you don't know those words."

"Lover, why do you believe it impossible that there are words I do not know?"

"Because you know everything."

"No. I know a lot, but not everything. And has it occurred to you that with so much that I need to remember, some things are less relevant? Such as linguistics?"

"That right?"

"Maybe," he shrugged.

"Well, what about the ESL class you took in the 70s?" Sookie questioned. "You seemed to be interested in getting a handle on the vernacular back then?"

"Getting a handle?"

Shocked by his words, Sookie's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open.

_He'd better not try to tell me he doesn't understand that expression! _

"Eric, no. No! I do not believe you don't understand that expression. I _must've_ used it with you _dozens_ of times!"

Eric just continued to look at her quizzically. He remained silent.

Sookie, meanwhile, genuinely puzzled, was beginning to second-guess herself.

_Is it possible I don't use that expression as much as I think? Maybe he pretends to get it? No. What about the class?_

"Well? What about the ESL class? You wanted to understand the vernacular back then! Otherwise you wouldn't have taken the class, right?"

"That class served," Eric paused, "a very specific purpose."

"Uh-huh," she replied.

_Gosh, he makes me crazy sometimes! Maybe it's time to just change the subject, _she thought_._

"I still can't believe you took that class with Niall."

"Why lover? You know we have known one another a long time."

"Yeah...still I find it strange," her gaze was speculative. "You ever going to tell me about it?"

"What? The ESL class?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe."

Sookie shrugged and turned her attention back to the board.

"Your turn, honey."

Eric, as he been playing with his letters during their exchange, was very much ready to place his word on the board. With a beguiling smile directed at his lover, he laid down his letters.

Seeing his word, Sookie's eyes opened wide.

"Eric—"

"Lover you cannot possibly tell me that is not a word." He continued to grin at her.

Looking at the board, she frowned.

"No, it's a word. Slightly offensive word, but a word." She looked up at him. "I guess it's okay."

"_Offensive_, lover?" He smirked again. "I hardly think so. Is it not another name for a rooster?"

"Hm." She looked at him. "Is that what you meant?"

"Of course, lover." His eyes were teasing. "What else could I have been referring to?"

Sookie decided to ignore the question.

"Alrighty, then," she replied. "If you insist on using those letters, fine. But you should at least try to maximize your score. Look."

Sookie grabbed his letters from where he had laid them on the board and moved them to the open Y at the end of **LOFTY**.

"See, Eric? Your word only got 12. My word gets you 16.

"Yes. I see."

Eric seemed grumpy again. Sookie had to ask.

"Eric, you do know what that word means, right?"

If he claimed to not know _that word_, she was gonna have Amelia test him for signs of witchcraft.

"Yes, lover. I do."

"So why you look so down? You got a higher score now. I still beat you, but you did better."

Grinning again, Eric replied.

"Hm, maybe I was trying to impart a message with my delightful word."

"Oh," she smiled back at him. "Well, if that's what's got you worried, you know, even with a Y at the end, I think I got the message."

Suddenly, Eric sat up indian-style on the floor. In a flash, he'd lifted Sookie up, too, and brought her down on his lap.

"Did you, my lover? I would not doubt that for a moment. You're very intuitive that way."

"Is that a compliment?"

"If I say yes, can we please move on to my game?"

"Yes."

"Then yes. It is very much a compliment."

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**A/N: Sookie was trying to teach Eric how to use strategy at Scrabble. He didn't seem too interested in learning, though, did he? How can he not know what 'high-handed' and all those other words mean? He must have a mental block. **

**Can anyone guess what Eric's last word was? Huh? C'mon. Guess.**

**Story Alerts: If you'd like to read more like this, author alert me and keep your eyes open for "Sookehverse" stories. 15 on a Double is, and will remain, a one-shot. **


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